The girls and I

Dear Readers,
Well, I'm finally back and thanks for your patience. In my 2 week lapse so many things have been happening that I really couldn't find the hours in the day to take some time to write. But I AM BACK and I hope that this won't happen again for a while.

One thing which I did make the effort to continue and to find the time for was to continue with my new year's resolution of going to a water aerobics class. I have been saying this for years and have always found excuses; some very valid ones, some incredibly immaginative, but this year I said to myself that I will do it.
I went this time as far as to prepay 3 months thus thinking that having paid, I'd go. Well, I even found excuses as I saw my  begining of my three month pass slowly expiring before my eyes until one day I said "this is it, it's now or never!". And I went.

I felt like a kid going to a new school on the first day of classes. Who would be the other students?Will I fit in?Will I be the most out of shape one?Will I, having NEVER done anything of this sort before in nearly 52 years, be able to keep up?Will the changing rooms and showers be fresh and clean or filled with filth ,smells and mold? There was only one way to find out...by actually going.

I showed my membership card, passed it through the scanner(which actually did work that time) and went for the medical check for what seemed to me conducted by a young student in 2nd year of medicine as he checked  my hands, feet and underarms for any signs of rash, fungus or any other communicable undesired states or diseases not to be shared with the fellow students in the pool. I went to the changing room which was quiet and empty compared to the women's next door which was like a revolving door with every pitch of a female voice imaginable.
And then as the bewitching hour of my first water aerobics class approached, I went through the small labyrinth towards the calling clorinated water and saw my new friends.....some 30 women and I. the only man!

Being the only man doesn't freak me out. I remember this at university while in some esoteric class about 19th century French literature or while in line for the latest  Ricky Martin c.d. to be sold. I thought it must have to do with the fact that my class is at 4pm and most men are still working which is true.. but so, too, are most women.
With the exception of one or two, most of the women in my class have obtained at least grandmother status if not a step above.

Not only was I about to expose my extra kilos gained over the past 2 decades,but  I also on this first day was concerned  and stressed with a few other matters(and this is supposed to be good for the body, mind and soul?).All entering the pool had to don something to cover their hair, a.k.a. a cap. I have tons of shower caps or bonnets from the many 5 star hotels where I have been a guest in the many years of traveling and have never used a one! So maybe now was the time. So I brought my sealed and never-used shower cap to the pool. When I put it on, I forgot about my beer belly due to wine, gin tonics and midnight dinners and thought how ridiculous I looked so I coughed up the 15 pesos to buy an official swimming cap. But before I handed over the grand sum, I asked the girl who was in charge of selling them if I really needed one as I have short hair which THANK GOD is not falling out. She quickly informed me that only totally bald men ( and I guess women ,too) could enter the pool without a cap because any hair which could come off the person and then float in the pool and clog the drains must be properly covered. Then being the curious one that I am , I asked about body hair as here in Argentina, many men have literally rugs on the chest which often continue into runners on their backs.
Are there body-size condom like wrappers for them or must they shave their torsos?  No, the hirsute are exempt and can swim freely allowing curly hairs to detatch themselves at their own pace.

The other concern was as I wear glasses, what to do with them? Leave them in my changing bag and hope that I don't depend on my eyesight for the class or wear them risking constant splashing without windshield wipers or dry ANYTHING with which to take away the drops of water.
I decide for the first class to wear them and take the risk of living in a foggy world for the next hour. And am I glad I did!

Upon entering the pool, I was immersed not in water but into a cacaphony produced by the approximately 30 women, all talking at a rate faster than the speed of light.
As I am tall, I headed for the deepest section of the pool which is still flat althought the precipice into the non-existent floor are at the edge of my right foot.
The young instructor began the class with music which I almost could never hear because of the juxtaposed voices all around me. Had I not kept my glasses on, I would have been lost as I couldn't hear a word the poor instructor was saying. She asked for "silencio" many times but it was useless. The exchange of gossip would reign during  the next hour leaving her without a voice at the end of the class. This repeats itself until today.

Now I am known and acknowledged by my fellow pool sharers. I can't really say classmates as most of the time I am one of the only ones who follows the instructions given which I now know by heart and don't need to read lips any more. And I have given nicknames to a few; there's the "loose wire" because she jumps and dances around while splashing like waves on the beaches of Normandy as if she was a live electrical wire which had by chance fallen into water sparking and franctically hitting anything in its path. There is also the "roamer", a woman who while doing the stationary execrcises moves left, right and all around never keeping her position continuously bumping into those nearest her; I recently said to her that if she continues like that , we would be forced to become boy and girlfriend. And then there's the "kicker"; I don't think that I need to elaborate  any more than through my comment to her that she'd pay more attention to this if she was a man!

So the class is now over. It's time to give the dozens of wet (due to water on the cheeks) kisses again upon leaving which still hadn't dried off when they were given just an hour previously. Many women stay another 30 minutes or so to finish the intriguing stories which they could not end since they hadn'tthe breath to both raise their arms and talk at the same time. But I return to the solitary changing room, a sanctuary of ,knowing that I'll be back in 2 days for more of goodness for the mind, soul and body.

Finally after nearly 3 months of flawless attendence, there is only one missing thing (and as I said, I never miss so it's not me!). I think that there should be floating trays with a varierty of teas and biscuits to make the class truly whats most want it to be, a relaxing afternoon tea.

Don't forget your lifejacket!
SES